The Man Who Pleases and the Woman Who Charms by John A. Cone

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The Man Who Pleases and the Woman Who Charms by John A. Cone

(8 User reviews) 1043

By Richard Williams Posted on Mar 30, 2026

In Category - Online Safety

Authors: Cone, John A. (John Albert), 1860-1928 Published By : Cone, John A. (John Albert), 1860-1928

Book Language: English

Ever wonder what people thought about dating and marriage over a century ago? I just finished 'The Man Who Pleases and the Woman Who Charms,' and let me tell you, it's a fascinating time capsule. Published in 1904, this book isn't a novel. It's a guide, written by a minister named John A. Cone, that lays out the 'rules' for men and women to find success in love and society. The main conflict here isn't between characters, but between the strict social codes of the early 1900s and our modern sensibilities. It's all about how a man should act to be 'pleasing' and a woman should behave to be 'charming' in order to secure a good match. Reading it feels like peeking into a secret rulebook from another world. Some advice is surprisingly sweet, some is hilariously outdated, and some will make you cringe. If you're curious about how much has changed (and what hasn't) in the game of love, this short book is a weirdly compelling read.

File: The Man Who Pleases and the Woman Who Charms by John A. Cone

I picked up this old book expecting a quaint romance, but what I found was something much more interesting. Written by Reverend John A. Cone, this is a straight-faced manual from 1904 on how to be a proper gentleman and a proper lady, specifically to attract a spouse.

The Story

There's no plot in the traditional sense. Instead, Cone lays out his blueprint for social success in two parts. First, he details the 12 essential qualities of 'The Man Who Pleases.' This includes being industrious, having good morals, and showing 'manly tenderness.' He warns men against being vain, lazy, or having bad tempers. Then, he flips it and describes the 12 traits of 'The Woman Who Charms.' Here, he emphasizes purity, cheerfulness, modesty, and being a good conversationalist. The goal for both? To be so agreeable and polished that you become an ideal candidate for marriage. The book reads like a series of earnest lectures from a well-meaning but very strict uncle.

Why You Should Read It

This book is a social history lesson disguised as advice. Reading it today is a wild experience. You'll nod along at parts about kindness and honesty, then your jaw will drop at passages that feel incredibly restrictive, especially for women. The author's world is one of clear rules and roles. It made me think hard about which pressures from that era we've shed and which new ones we've created. It's not a book to take advice from, but one to learn from. Seeing these values spelled out so plainly helps you understand the invisible forces that shaped people's lives and choices over a hundred years ago.

Final Verdict

This isn't for everyone. If you're looking for a page-turning story, look elsewhere. But if you're a curious reader who loves history, sociology, or just seeing how different life used to be, this is a gem. It's perfect for book clubs that enjoy debating social change, for writers researching the Edwardian era, or for anyone who's ever rolled their eyes at a modern dating guide and thought, 'I wonder what they used to say?' It's a short, direct, and utterly revealing look into the past.